Along with this, I'm involved in so many organizations in my college that I'm super passionate about, but I need to make sure that I will have enough "me" time as well (not to mention writing this blog!), which includes ample time for mani/pedis, reading for pleasure (including magazines!!) rather than just for classes, catching up on episodes of my favorite television shows, going to the gym followed by a half hour shower, have major gurl talk with friends, and spending time with my amazing/fantabulous *handflip*/wonderful boyfriend who I will refer to as Prince Harry (because he is truly Prince Charming minus the red rose and white stallion, and his name is Harry --like the English royalty? No way, mine's Scottish ;) ).
I snuggled up in my bed with a lukewarm mug of make-it-at-home Starbucks Peppermint Hot Cocoa and thought about what I really want to do with my life. Am I going to be a musician for my profession? Probz not… but in no way should I stop playing the violin or guitar (or PINK UKELELE, THE MOST AMAZING BDAY PRESENT EVER BESTOWED UPON ME BY PRINCE HARRY <3333333344) . The truth is, I'm passionate about so many things that I feel frustrated when trying to figure out a way to incorporate everything that I love into my life without giving up sleep, a social life, or good grades. Like that silly yet incredibly accurate pie chart on the interwebz, it really does seem like a lady can only have two out of the three of those aforementioned luxuries at any one given time. Do I want to give up my fashion blogging column for my school? NO. Am I willing to resign from my position of Content Manager for my college's chapter of HerCampus? NO. Something's got to give… but what?
I outlined a brief schedule plugging in my classes so I can see where my free time will be for studying, gymming it up, blogging (for both this blog and the fashion blog for my college), coming up with content ideas, leading Pre-Law Club meetings, selling my Chloe and Isabel jewelry, practicing music, and my favorite -- having fun with friends and Prince Harry. Not to mention time to meditate, something I tried my freshman fall/winter and LOVED! But it got too tricky once I moved into a quad room to find Ultimate Solace, and I kind of abandoned it since. It's definitely something I want to try again, preferably during the middle of the day. I think I can make it all work, though, which is a great thing. As long as I can train my brain to focus on one thing at a time, and get into a rhythm of staying on track, doing the work, getting it done, checking it off of my to-do list, and moving on to the next task, there shouldn't be a problem!
The thought of heading back to school, though, and this break ending is *mildly* heartbreaking. I love never feeling the pressure of TIME or THE CLOCK (all capital letters for a reason, friends!…eek!!) I love being there for my family and my dog, and I hate thinking about how Prince Harry and I won't be able to see each other as much as we can now (seeing each other all day for three days in a row!? Truly Heaven on Earth <3). I was pretty emotional with him today, and in his typical adorable way, he comforted me. I am so lucky to have a person like him in my life, and I wish that everyone will find someone in their life who is so fantastically supportive and caring as he is; I really do.
Some days I wish I were already done with college and off living life as a lawyer? College professor? Fashion writer/blogger? Best-selling author? Author. My dream profession. The unknown scares me; what will I actually wind up doing? What if I would have been better off with a different job? What if, what if, what if. I've been trying to keep my anxiety in check and just let the path of life take me wherever it may lead instead, but it's proven preeeeeeeetty difficult for me to do thus far. It's a work in progress, though.
I will always have dreams of helping to do research to find a cure for cancer, of being an engineer who builds major bridges in major cities, of being an astronomy professor and discussing the complexities of black holes & dark/anti-matter. But deep, deep, deep down I know that if reading and writing aren't involved, the job is not for me. I know, I know -- I have "so much time" to decide. But for a lady like me, I need to have some vision, some clear path of where it is that I'm headed. And for now? This path is law school.