I was feeling really down. Things weren't exciting me anymore. I felt… lost. At my internship, I was more tired than usual and my boss, who is really sassy to me, kept making me feel upset by his snarky jokes than how they usually provoke me to reciprocate the much-appreciated sass. I dreaded thinking about heading back to school where I haven't met a core group of friends that I feel I truly "fit" with. My mom wasn't feeling to well from her cancer treatments. My dad was worried about his job. My dog was injured on his little paw... Things were clearly not ideal!!!
So I took a really long, hot shower and regrouped. I realized this was not the way I wanted to be feeling. There's some quote about how your thoughts become your actions and then your actions shape your life and I cannot stress HOW incredibly true this is!! I reached out to some people I'm friends with, and strengthened these connections. I started a new skincare regimen. I started working out with the goal to FEEL strong, not necessarily to look a certain way. I started waking up earlier (even if I'm tired throughout the day, I just always feel better waking up early and having a slower morning than if I were to sleep later and then have to rush). I realized that being 20 years old, I have so many opportunities to try new things and discover more in depth what it is that I'm truly passionate about besides the obvious (English/Creative Writing <3333). I realized that I should probably only read one book at a time instead of 5 at once; as my dad told me, if the one I read first was any good, there would be no need to read all of the others. I learned that instead of running away from my fears (in my case, I have anxiety about 10039284203938729382 things at any given time of any given day, but right now it's mainly about how I'm working 2 jobs and an internship), I have to face them head on with the following steps: 1)Acceptance (admitting it's there rather than emotionally hiding in a state of denial) 2) Is it something that can be changed or not (be honest with yourself on this one) 3)Doing little steps to make a big change or discovering ways to cope with the thing that cannot be change (go slowly on this and applaud yourself for every bit of effort, no matter how small) 4)Make this new way of living a habit not just every once in a while (the penultimate stage) 5) Moving on from the fear/thing (don't obsess over this now that you've gotten over the hump/hurdle. just keep calm and carry on and move on to more important things that don't involve worry!).
I took some time to think about how far I've grown as a person since my senior year of high school, when I first started feeling like a young adult. I've grown very far.
Until Next Time,