But then yesterday I realized something about myself and the world around me: we're all so beautiful. All in our own way. Yesterday, I had a horrifying experience: when I walked into my college's student center, there was a happy couple walking in behind me. They didn't seem too nerdy or too popular, just somewhere in the middle. You know, ordinary. It was odd because I'm pretty sure I've seen everybody on this campus at one time or another because it's so small! Yet, I didn't recognize them. They seemed to be juniors, though; you can always tell what class year somebody is here, somehow! So, I walked into the bathroom and I heard the girl tell her boyfriend she had to go to the bathroom really quickly. I went into a stall, you know, ready to do what I came there for lawwlz. But then… I hear what could only be the sound of somebody putting fingers in their mouth, and then all of a sudden I guess she reached them in quite a bit deeper into the back of her throat and SHE THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. She was absolutely fine walking in - she was laughing, and she and her boyfriend were holding hands while swinging them back and forth like little kids. And yet, here she was puking. Two times. Then she started crying. Then she peed. Then she washed her hands and used that air dryer thing (Go Green!!). Then she left. Of course, this ruined any and all chances of me actually being able to go to the bathroom so I just kind of awkwardly chilled in my stall with my hand over my mouth in shock for literally four minutes (I know that it was four minutes because what better way to occupy your bathroom time than to use a word search app on your iphone, amirite!? ;) ) hahahaha. She didn't look too pregnant, and I heard her fingers go into her mouth, she kind of sucked on them first I think. Maybe she was nervous and had an anxiety attack? Maybe she was jealous of some super-thin ex-girlfriend of his? Maybe she was jealous of every other girl and didn't want him to have a wandering eye? Maybe her friends or family commented on her weight? Maybe he did? It was so sad to see a girl with glittering eyes and a waltzing laugh make herself throw up. What aspect of her life does she feel is so incredibly out of control that she must do this to herself?
Now, I may never see that girl again but let me tell all of you -- please please please never feel like you aren't "good enough". Who's to say what's "good enough" and what isn't? You don't need to be perfect for anyone else; you just need to be perfect for you. Now I know for some people that is synonymous with being perfect for others, but if that's the way you operate, then I highly suggest you change that as soon as you feel ready to. If we were all meant to be the same, then we would be. If you just want to be attractive to the opposite sex (or your own sex if you prefer! No judgement here!), well, to the girls with "thick" thighs - that's awesome, guys like a little something to grab. To the girls with "soft" tummies - that's awesome, guys like a little something to cuddle with. But, on the other hand - to the girls with "collarbones" - that's awesome, guys like a little something to leave hickies on. To the girls with "smaller" chests - that's awesome, guys like a little something they can actually fit entirely in their cupped hands. Everyone has beautiful aspects to them, because all aspects are beautiful. If you go along with what the media declares is "beautiful" then probably, what, only 2% would fit that standard. But if you can understand this now, be proud of your body and all that it can do. It can breathe. It can wake up in the morning. It can eat yet another Reese's cup (omg, bliss). This is true beauty.
Until Next Time (aka when I finish this darn paper!!),