Let me explain. I was going to write a huge major "goodbye" post of sorts, but goodbyes are so dreadfully painful that I've been procrastinating to write this for literally over one month (eek!). So, instead, I've decided to keep it as short as possible rather than drag it out.
When I first began this blog, I wanted to document my life growing up into adulthood. However, it quickly became a place I ran to (ermmm, virtually "ran" to, that is!) to talk about all the things making me sad, causing me heartbreak, things that were stressful. I soon realized that I want a blog to become a place where I document all of the things that make me happy - books, fashion, new music, thought of the day - things of that sort; rather, I would like to create a blog to be a POSITIVE, HAPPY outlet from the day-to-day stressors. This being said, I've learned so much about life and love and everything in between since I first began writing this blog. A new blog that will be filled with all of the things I love is coming soon, and I am simply ecstatic beyonds words to share it (the new blog) and them (all of the things I love) with you! My joy for a new beginning is ineffable. What gave me the courage to begin this new blog (now, I'm really against giving hard deadlines for new projects because there are so many what-if's that could come into play as obstacles, but I'm thinking it should be up and ready around October 1st !) is that I realized I was tired of feeling lonely at college, heartbroken, and stressed out beyond belief about all things both big and small. I realized yesterday morning after having a HORRIBLE nightmare that made the heartbreak feel so real all over again, that we al have an innate duty to ourselves to keep ourselves happy. We must do the things that will cause us joy; we must make our happiness our number one priority if we are to be healthy and succeed in life! Now, I don't think that going and getting drunk off of your ass at a party and hooking up with a million randos would make you "happy"; I'm not encouraging hedonistic behavior at all! In fact, that behavior would NOT make you happy in the long run, which is the type of happy we owe to ourselves. I'm really quite against that… it's SO not me, and quite frankly, call me old fashioned, but that seems so wrong to me. I'm all about the emotional connection, ya dig.This year at school, rather than focusing on social stuff, I'm going to focus 100% on grades, clubs, other activities and organizations I'm involved in that are not necessarily on campus (Love Your Melon, etc.) and do the best I can with school. I made the decision last Spring not to transfer, and now I'm going to make the best I can of the current situation that I'm in. This way, I can get into the best grad school possible (I've decided that I'm going to become a college professor for English and surround myself with the intellectual stimulation and literary joys of the collegiate world!) and I'll be surrounded with a bunch of like-minded people who love reading great literature by fantastic authors and creative writing (of both the prose and poetry varieties) as much as I do. Rather than focus on the lack of "wholeness" I feel now, I know that I've got a lot of maturing and growing up that I'd like to accomplish - how to calm down my frequent anxiety, how to let things take their natural course, how to care less about the things I don't have any control over, how to just have faith in myself and my abilities and my future (mainly that I will live happily ever after -- hey, nothing is ever "perfect", but I just mean on the whole that things will be great in my life!).
I'll write again probably soon updating y'all on the progress of the new positive, happy blog. <3
Keep It Classy,